My Sister, My Role Model

So for one of my English papers I had to write about who has made us the person of who we are today, and I wrote about my sister...so I know that this is long but I am going to post the paper on here for my next blog!
I hope you enjoy(: I LOVE YOU NORA!

My Sister, My Role Model

            On June 15, 2004 my little sister, Nora who was 4 at the time, got diagnosed with type one diabetes. I was so shocked in every way  and so mad that this little girl has done nothing wrong to deserve this. With her being so young I didn’t think that she could handle something so life changing. For the past eight years I have said that she is the strongest person that I know to go through something so life changing at a young age. I have always looked up to her just because of what she went through. But eight years from when she was diagnosed I have never thought that I would also have such a life changing experience.

            On June 1, 2012 I was rushed to the ER at around midnight. I wasn’t feeling well at all and my mom was afraid that something bad was going to happen to me. When I got to the ER the nurses and doctors ran tests on me. Finally around four in the morning, the nurses and doctors came into my room and said that I had type one diabetes. I felt the same way of when my sister was diagnosed. I was so shocked and just mad at everyone and even God. I was thinking to myself, why would God let my sister have this, and now why should I have this? Why does my family need another person to worry about? Why couldn't I just be the “normal” one and be the helper that I can be for my family. I didn't want people to feel sorry for me, I didn’t want the attention from people. This couldn’t be happening to me.  I never knew that I would get something that my sister had. Seeing her go through everything before already made me feel comfortable to do everything. I was afraid that my sister would get mad or jealous that I would have the same disease as her.

            My dad had told me that when he told my sister about me having diabetes Nora started crying. I had never thought that my sister would care so much about me when I got diagnosed. Right when she got to the hospital to see me she ran up to me while lying down on my bed and gave me the biggest hug. She stood right by me the whole time and never left my side. She gave me a little ladybug with a paper with it. It was called the lucky ladybug, and the paper that went with it talked about how this lucky ladybug will protect me when I carry it around with me. To that day I still carry around that lucky ladybug to protect me and to remember that my sister gave it to me.

             My sister is always there for me when something goes wrong with my blood sugar or anything diabetes related, just like I am to her. I am so blessed that it has made us closer than ever. I have always looked up to her and I will continue to also look up to her. Even though she is only twelve years old, she is my role model. She helps me get through everything and says to me that I can do this. Because of her I have become a strong person. I am now helping other diabetics get through their life. I am helping them and talking to them that people shouldn't judge us just because we have to take our blood sugar or give ourselves shots of insulin for everything that we eat. Because of Nora I have never been so thankful in my life.

            We are all wanting a cure for such a horrible disease just so that we don’t have to go through everyday worrying if we are going to live though the day or die. That might sound dramatic, but it’s true. Once something bad happens to our blood sugar we are needed to go to the hospital right away. I worry more about my sister during the day than me. I rather have her be okay then myself. I care so much about her that if our family only got one cure, I would want my sister to have the cure than me. I rather suffer everyday like I already do and have my sister not go through any of that for the rest of her life. With all my “why did God do this” questions, I think that things happen for a reason. I know that sounds silly to say, but I think that everything happens for a reason. I know that there is a reason of why my sister and I have this terrible disease. It’s to make us a closer and stronger family than ever before. It’s to make us a stronger person and to help others that have the same thing as me get through it.       

            I am so thankful for everyone in my life that has helped me through diabetes, but I am really thankful for my sister. Without her I would be doing this alone, and even though it wasn't by choice of both of us having it, I am very blessed that we both have it to make us closer and to even help each other get through it. My sister is the most strong, amazing, caring, loving, and friendly person in the world and she would do anything for anyone. She puts others before herself and doesn't care what happens to her. I am so blessed that she is in my life and that she is my sister.

Living in a dream

If I could, I would want my life to be a dream. In a dream you can be anything or do anything that you want. You can dream about living in LA and then all of a sudden you could be living in Paris. There is never anything getting in your way in a dream. One of the main reasons I wish I could live in a dream is because in a dream I don't have diabetes. I don't have to take my blood sugar in my dreams, I can eat anything I want without giving myself insulin. I don't have to deal with site changes or bruising from the sites. I can be anyone I want to be. I wouldn't have to worry if I am going to die, because most of your dreams you don't die. I can do whatever I want and that would be amazing. But then I realize how yes it would be AMAZING if I could live without diabetes, like I have before, but without this disease I wouldn't be the person who I am today. Going through everything that I am going through has made me a strong person. I had to get over my fear of needles, and without having diabetes then I would probably still cry over taking shots. It has also made me very independent and grown up just because I have to really take care of myself. It really does have it's pros and cons, but what you have to do is that you have to look at the pros, and think positive from it. Even though I would love living in a dream, I wouldn't trade anything in the world of what happened to me. I am very thankful and blessed with everything that I have and I am proud to say that I am a diabetic.

We can get through this!

I started college this week, and boy how it's different than high school! I have already made some awesome friends, and they are great! But I am struggling on things though :/ I was so nervous of my first day of college, which I think that most people are when they are starting out. But for me I was so nervous, because I was thinking "What are people going to do or say when they see me checking my blood sugar or when I give myself a shot?" "Will they think I am a weirdo?" I did get A LOT of stares but there were many people asking me questions about it. I guess they didn't think I was a weirdo for giving myself shots. I will be in the middle of class and I will have to take my blood sugar, and people will stare. But I am trying my hardest to get over that. I am still trying my hardest to be the strongest person that I can. You know I do try to stay positive in my blogs and to myself, but I of course do struggle. Honestly there are times when I do want to give up, when I think to myself, that these people might be thinking that I am doing this for attention. Heck I wish I wasn't getting that kind of attention. There are people out there that I think that they think that what diabetics go through. They think "oh big woop they can live with it" I mean yeah we can live with it, but do they really know what I have to do to live? I have to do so much stuff to stay alive. If I didn't check my blood sugar or gave myself shots for what I ate I think I would be in a coma or even dead. I just want people to know that anything can happen to me/ diabetics at anytime. It's something that we don't want attention for, or for anyone to feel sorry for us. We have to do certain things for us to stay alive, for us to live our life everyday. I don't want to say that we aren't normal but we sure do different things than other people do. So, my goal in life is to try to stay positive, try to be happy, and try to get through this. We can do it and we are all here for each other!

This is my life and I can get through this!

So, it's been about one week since I have been home from camp and I am missing it like CRAZY! I learned so much in a week it's crazy. I made some awesome friends from this camp. During camp my group that I had to watch were 13 nine year olds....that of course were ALL diabetics..not only did I have to take care of myself through this I had to help out with all of them! It was very stressful because I am still trying to get in the hang of things for myself, so taking care of all of them just kind of made me not really think about what my blood sugar was. Then after a couple of days I would start testing with them. I had a great time going to the camp and I am so blessed that I went. Just watching those 9 year old girls take their blood sugars made me think that they are all strong. To them diabetes is all what they know. Going through this camp made me think..I started thinking that all these girls don't know what it's like to not have diabetes. Most of the people that went to the camp have been a diabetic for most of their life. For me it's harder because for 17 years before I had it I know what it's like to not have diabetes. I know what it's like to not count out all the carbs and just eat whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. Now going through what they are going through is a HUGE change for me. I guess it's easier for them because they are so used to doing all of that, when I am still trying to figure everything out. I do really miss not having to just eat whatever whenever. But even though this is a terrible disease, everything happens for a reason. Even though this sounds bad for what I have, but it happened for a reason. Maybe the reason is to make me a stronger person. You/I have to think positive about this and not think about the bad things because we have to get through this and we will get through this. "I may have diabetes, but diabetes doesn't have me"

A Part of My Family

So ever since I was diagnosed with type one diabetes, many people keep on asking me the same question. This question kind of gets me thinking and kind of makes me upset. The question that they keep on asking me is "do you now feel a part of your family?". See the reason why I kind of upset is that, I have always been a part of my family. Just because I didn't have anything wrong me, I know for a fact that my family still did love me just as much as they loved my sister and brother. Haha I am not mad at the question that they are asking me, it just has been giving me a lot of thought. I just think that just because I now have this disease that my sister has, doesn't mean that I am now "a part" of my family. I am very thankful that I do have my family. I know that they have always loved me even without this disease and with this disease. Even with this disease I don't want people to feel sorry for me because I am just like everyone else. I am just trying to keep being strong, and I don't want people looking at me different when I give myself a shot or just because I have a medical bracelet on. I am just like everyone else, and I have always been a part of my family. I am so blessed to have an amazing family that know how to take care of me! So to answer the question, YES I do feel a part of my family, I have always been a part of my family!

Thank you everyone!

So through all of this, I have meet some amazing people! People that can relate what I am going through. It's been so fun meeting people, but at the same time it's been really hard. I feel like some of my friends aren't talking to me anymore because of this. I don't really know if it's because of me having this, or for some other reasons but i just feel like my so called friends aren't really there for me. I am not really that worried about it because I know that I'll meet new people this fall when I start college, it's just really hard because this disease is really causing a lot of stress in my life and they just don't really understand. There are many times when I feel like I want to give up. I just ask myself, why did this happen to me? Why does my family not only have to worry about me now but also my sister and brother. Why couldn't I be the only "normal" one and help out my family? All these questions just run through my mind and it really does stress me out. I know that I can get through this and be a strong person and just live my life and have fun. A quote I really love is "live, laugh, love". Live the life that you have, Laugh and have a good time with your life, and Love everyone even your enemies. I just want to thank everyone that has been there for me and continues to be there for me. I really want to thank my parents and my WHOLE family for being there for me. I would also like to thank my best friend, Emily Wesselkamper because through this she has been there for me since day one. She is helping me through this and even starting to count the carbs for me! She is so scared of shots, but she did help me do my lantus! Love you Em! And lastly I want to thank my amazing boyfriend, Jacob Glenn. He has been with me for 2 and a half years and he has been a true blessing in my life. You would think that most boyfriends would leave there girlfriends when they get a disease because of the stress, but my amazing man told me he wants to continue to help me and he will do the best he can to do anything. I love you Jake and thank you for everything and sticking with me! And a huge thank you to EVERYONE that has helped me through this and to help me stay strong! THANK YOU so much!  Seriously you guys are amazing!

My New Life

Well, here I am wanting to make another story about how my life with my sister with diabetes does make it hard for me too...well let me tell you something. After I graduated high school in May, a couple of days after that I wasn't feeling well. I just had a normal day with my boyfriend and I was just having a blast. We were just relaxing and having a great time. Well it was getting late and he had to go home. So I was waiting up like I always do to know that he got home okay, and something wasn't right. I wasn't feeling like myself. I felt weird and my head was killing me. So I decided to take my blood sugar...I was in the 500's. I told my mom and after awhile we went to the ER at down at Children's. Around 3 am nurses and doctors kept on coming into my room and saying "I am so sorry Evelyn, I really am. But I know that you know a lot about it because of your sister". They just kept on saying sorry but I just didn't understand why. After awhile my mom and I just looked at each other and we were thinking..CRAP! I was finally diagonsed with type one diabetes. So its's been a month and some days with me having this and I have met the most amazing people in my life. New people that are always there for me. And even some of my friends are now there for me. So I have decided to make a new blog about my new life. And just talk about how it is affecting me and my family. I hope that you read and enjoy my blogs now(: